so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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