i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
