We won't sleep together?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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