I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I DEMAND FORESKIN
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
