The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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