On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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