my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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