he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
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