i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
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if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
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We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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