I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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