so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
