It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
