Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
