is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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