READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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