I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize