Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
