Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
