dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
