Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
