Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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