just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
