i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
