why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
