Swine flu. Run for my life!
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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