You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
