Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
