Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(608): View more from Wisconsin

Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.

Fav 25 2028 6226
share tweet
(970): View more from Colorado

ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"

Fav 20 6770 1361
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(904): View more from Florida

I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.

Fav 12 1228 4264
share tweet
(601): View more from Mississippi

I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.

Fav 33 5845 2713
share tweet
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen

Fav 11 3934 1685
share tweet
(760): View more from California

Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!

Fav 10 2554 961
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(213): View more from California

Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.

(1-213): View more from California

best text I've received ever.

Fav 16 5323 1119
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(847): View more from Illinois

bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.

(309): View more from Illinois

May the force be with you.

Fav 4 1351 614
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping

Fav 0 198 286
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT