Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!

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  (248): Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!! http://tfl.nu/kly1
  Replies (2) Good night (1152) Bad night (877)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night

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  (330): I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night http://tfl.nu/n6om
  Replies (28) Good night (1350) Bad night (4929)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.

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  (559): Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster. http://tfl.nu/p7ub
  Replies (109) Good night (13355) Bad night (1202)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.

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  (310): you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk. http://tfl.nu/32ev
  Replies (21) Good night (5372) Bad night (1036)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.

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  (262): So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt. http://tfl.nu/9ocn
  Replies (24) Good night (719) Bad night (5273)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.

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  (724): I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay? (724): I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision. http://tfl.nu/lftu
  Replies (32) Good night (1482) Bad night (3704)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"

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  (864): U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating" http://tfl.nu/kntp
  Replies (14) Good night (5351) Bad night (1142)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?

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  (440): I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went? http://tfl.nu/9bmv
  Replies (8) Good night (5829) Bad night (1188)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.

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  (802): Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator. http://tfl.nu/tdtw
  Replies (18) Good night (4772) Bad night (1474)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.

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  (979): There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer. http://tfl.nu/lpls
  Replies (6) Good night (2668) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....

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  (267): I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa.... http://tfl.nu/2i55
  Replies (6) Good night (2553) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.

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  (646): Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her. http://tfl.nu/s0ys
  Replies (5) Good night (3477) Bad night (805)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage

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  (518): I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage http://tfl.nu/7vzo
  Replies (6) Good night (681) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.

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  (901): This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis. http://tfl.nu/kmqs
  Replies (1) Good night (509) Bad night (291)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.

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  (517): I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first. http://tfl.nu/5h2f
  Replies (0) Good night (392) Bad night (347)

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