I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.