My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
She said her name was "party"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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