as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
