Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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