I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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