i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
