Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
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I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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