Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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