That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
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So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
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The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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