You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
