We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize