Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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