You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
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look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
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MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I need water and some morals
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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