I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
