hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
My ass is underappreciated
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
