i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Randomize
