let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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