Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
