I can't breathe out the right side of my face
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked him into tasing himself.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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