Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
