Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
