I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
