Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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