We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
