I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
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If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I want her autograph on my taint
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Dicks are not precious.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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