I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
