shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
