Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
operation have a gay friend backfired
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
