Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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