He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Panties = found
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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