im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....