i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.