Texts From Last Night

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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.

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  (402): Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you. http://tfl.nu/55t9
  Replies (34) Good night (3454) Bad night (1028)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen

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  (630): True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen http://tfl.nu/yx2l
  Replies (18) Good night (1127) Bad night (4154)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.

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  (604): I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/rlh2
  Replies (16) Good night (1193) Bad night (4847)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense

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  (217): chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense http://tfl.nu/k4pe
  Replies (11) Good night (680) Bad night (2967)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.

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  (610): Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it. http://tfl.nu/l5ke
  Replies (29) Good night (9171) Bad night (2130)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?

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  (919): At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex? http://tfl.nu/35cd
  Replies (27) Good night (1117) Bad night (4906)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.

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  (+44): Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand. http://tfl.nu/fdqs
  Replies (22) Good night (8835) Bad night (1032)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.

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  (480): honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well. http://tfl.nu/eoih
  Replies (8) Good night (2480) Bad night (1436)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..

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  (270): You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it.. http://tfl.nu/hsv3
  Replies (2) Good night (1917) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler

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  (509): We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler http://tfl.nu/7vbk
  Replies (12) Good night (1512) Bad night (679)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.

  (1-773): View more from Illinois

  I love you football head

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  (773): Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head. (1-773): I love you football head http://tfl.nu/y5ut
  Replies (7) Good night (2655) Bad night (754)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver

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  (352): Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver http://tfl.nu/yics
  Replies (7) Good night (1306) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.

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  (937): Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you. http://tfl.nu/6dat
  Replies (3) Good night (2179) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story

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  (775): This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story http://tfl.nu/e7wa
  Replies (1) Good night (611) Bad night (531)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking

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  (570): we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking http://tfl.nu/289x
  Replies (2) Good night (655) Bad night (191)

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