Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.

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(313): I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines. http://tfl.nu/hfn6

Replies (3) Good night (1161) Bad night (1624)
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(317): View more from Indiana

So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?

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(317): So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself? http://tfl.nu/kpiy

Replies (5) Good night (1655) Bad night (734)
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(540): View more from Virginia

ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.

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(540): ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret. http://tfl.nu/thv3

Replies (18) Good night (2540) Bad night (822)
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(718): View more from New York

We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun

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(718): We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun http://tfl.nu/cluc

Replies (18) Good night (7717) Bad night (619)
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(815): View more from Illinois

So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.

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(815): So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit. http://tfl.nu/x6k6

Replies (33) Good night (7391) Bad night (985)
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(210): View more from Texas

i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.

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(210): i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories. http://tfl.nu/3qfj

Replies (8) Good night (3592) Bad night (881)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.

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(202): I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded. http://tfl.nu/owwz

Replies (30) Good night (4929) Bad night (3829)
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(907): View more from Alaska

We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.

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(907): We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke. http://tfl.nu/z4fd

Replies (19) Good night (6541) Bad night (1540)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.

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(973): composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals. http://tfl.nu/kw2o

Replies (13) Good night (5243) Bad night (870)
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(323): View more from California

Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?

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(323): Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back? http://tfl.nu/2ror

Replies (2) Good night (2169) Bad night (746)
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(802): View more from Vermont

Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.

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(802): Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants. http://tfl.nu/qi2o

Replies (5) Good night (1941) Bad night (1099)
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(231): View more from Michigan

Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.

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(231): Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs. http://tfl.nu/oqp6

Replies (6) Good night (1057) Bad night (1062)
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(512): View more from Texas

studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing

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(512): studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing http://tfl.nu/zch9

Replies (12) Good night (1533) Bad night (659)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?

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(404): Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture? http://tfl.nu/tx1u

Replies (3) Good night (434) Bad night (901)
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(360): View more from Washington

ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.

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(360): ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all. http://tfl.nu/5hyy

Replies (9) Good night (2039) Bad night (410)

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