this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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